Five Love Letters

Dear number one, you were first to open my heart.
Number two, you were the first to rip it apart.
Three, you were one and two altogether.
Four, you’re handsome and that’s all that mattered.
Number Five, you treat me like a brother.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5… my five love letters

Dear number one, thought, you’d be my one and only.
To number two, you and I were once enemies.
Number three, I was scared to fall in love again.
Number four, you were once a crush of a good friend.
Five, we talk a lot about what matters.
Oh, number one, my love for you had still not faltered.

Number one, you’re perfect, so I liked you,
Number two, our friends would tease me and you.
Number three, we had so many things in common.
Number four, you asked me to solve that math equation.
Number five, stop making that frowning face.
Dear two, our friendship was sadly a waste.

Dear number one, I think of you when I’m alone.
Number two, we texted each other all night long.
Number three, I finally see you’re not my type.
Number four, do you know you have the sweetest smile?
Number five, your questions always challenge me.
Dear number three, it was simply not meant to be.

Dear number one, my best friend liked you, too.
Number two, someone prettier was into you.
Number three, we became really close friends.
Number four, apparently, you already have a girlfriend.
Number five, you hate me messing with your hair.
Dear number four, I’m not the type to share.

Dear number one, does first love never die?
Number two, I wonder what if we only tried.
Dear number three, I have nothing left to say.
Four, I’m not that into you, anyway.
Number five, you leave your trash inside my car.
Oh, number five, you’re so near yet so far.

Dear number one, maybe I’d like you when we meet again.
Dear number two, if we could just go back to being friends.
Dear number three, please stop teasing me.
With number four, who’s in a relationship with somebody.
Dear number five, I’m still figuring things out.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 letters that I will never send out.

A/N: Some of the poems I’ve written are dedicated to these 5 muses. It is up to you to guess which one of them inspire each of the poems I wrote.

Everything goes

  • This poem is dedicated to a friend. It is also inspired from RM’s song Everythingoes from his MONO album

When the night swallows you in darkness
When the moon abandons you at the worst moment
When the sky becomes an endless sea of black
Remember that the night too shall pass

When an endless deluge washes your existence
When the heavy downpour disturbs your inner silence
When it feels like drowning in an endless torrent
Remember that the sun will shine once again

When it feels like walking in a thin sheet of ice
When it feels like a perpetual winter storming inside
When the ice feels like it will never melt away
Remember that spring comes without fail always.

Ode to the Sun From the Moon

They look up at me so high above. A shining thing that floats above.
They see a fortress, so strong and tough.
I never knew those walls were up.

But your eyes, your gaze, they see through me.
Unprejudiced, you unraveled me.
Your warmth, they call to me.
In my darkness, you shined on me.

A galaxy full of pretty stars.
I want to hide these painful scars
A different face, every different place
A desperate search for warm embrace

But your eyes, they see me differently.
You know these craters aren’t all of me.
And in this state of vulnerability.
In this dark night, you shined on me.

How could I know?
Some days when I’m feeling small
When the walls I built grow ten times tall
When I get lost in the night sky.

I should have known you’ll shine on me when I’m feeling small.
You’ll climb these walls when they’re ten times tall.
you’ll bring the light to my night.

Word Vomit

Picture perfect sceneries
Travel vlogs, photography
Reshot, enhanced, a folder of selfies
A curated image of who I want to be

Good grades, high praise, a medal or certificate
Awards, rewards,first place, first place
A litany of credit, good line of credit
Mistakes and flaws, just edit and edit.

A degree, a good job, a Master’s diploma
A long list of goals, a schedule, a cool persona.
Hunched back, dark bags for the glitz and glamour
This stress, distress, my glorified badge of honor

A checklist of unfulfilled bucketlists
No gram, no post, it doesn’t exist.
A collection of expectations and frustrastions.
A cabinet drawer of medication

Who makes it? Who breaks? Who’s just adequate?
Am I weak? Am I faint if I’m less passionate?
If life has a barometer, please calibrate
Success versus joy, please help me differentiate.

Realizations #1

We may be fascinated with tragic love stories. 

With stories people wished would never ever happen to them.  

With stories that would cause the heart to swell.
We may be fascinated with sad love songs. 

With songs that echo heartbreak through its melody 

With songs that we wish were soundtracks of our lives. 
There’s something inexplicably bittersweet about tragedy. 

Like the fascination of darkness, or the absence of light. 

We are designed to crave the absence of something, 

For us to realize the value of nothing

Complicated

Complicated.

That’s the excuse you made for yourself when words are too difficult to form when the truth would rather sit this out, and courage takes another form.

Complicated.

That’s what I choose  to believe, when words are too difficult to forget, when the truth lurks in the corner, and courage urged me to accept.

Complicated

That’s how it became with us, when words are no longer spoken when truth chooses to accept, and courage chooses to forget.

Maybe

Maybe it’s being in a different place and in a different time.
Maybe it’s the wind breeze or the cold weather.
Maybe, it’s being away from home.
Maybe it’s a spur of the moment kind of thing. Maybe it’s you.
Maybe it’s me.
Maybe it’s me being not me. 

Drift Away

Maybe I am the tide that drifts in and out of people’s lives. 

Maybe I am the storm that comes and goes and leaves a mess behind. 

Maybe I am the seasons who embrace change all the time. 

Maybe I am lightning, gone in a flash of a second. 
I am not good at keeping my friends. 

I am not good at keeping in touch. 

Distance is my shield against disappointments

 and my defense mechanism from being taken for granted. 
I’ve always felt so lucky to have you as a friend,

But I see now that our friendship is just born out of convenience. 

So let us slowly drift away like shores to waves. 

Let us slowly sink this ship we used to sail. 

To the person I wished I got to know more

I wish I could deconstruct the geometry of your smile, and trace the constellation of your freckles and get lit up by the twinkle of your eyes. I wish I could write about you in my fondest memory or have known you more than the projection of my artistry. 

I wish we’ve shared more than hellos or more than the knowledge for imminent goodbyes. 

I wish I knew you sooner. 

I wish I knew you longer. 

If only we had more time. 

Boy

What’s the story, boy? What’s your hurry?

You wear your heart on your sleeve so I worry

Cupid might sometimes be a little naughty.

You’re target practice, I know that’s not easy. 

What’s your worry, boy?

Why the hurry?

You gave your heart for her to hold

Her hands shaky

Tired of being played by destiny

Don’t settle for hand me downs

Substituted ecstacy
What’s the problem, boy?

What’s your worry?

when hope turns to desolation, 

Love gets sneaky

Maybe it wasn’t just meant to be.

Someday, you’ll find someone,

Just don’t hurry
What’s the story, boy?

What’s your hurry?

It doesn’t take to find a girl to be happy. 

Love will come,

Just sooner for some

Cultivated

You made it perfectly clear to me, that you and I were not meant to be. But a part of me still clings to wishful thinking, that if not today, then maybe someday. 

And while it hasn’t happened yet, I’ll patiently wait. And my feelings for you, I will cultivate. 

For when the moment comes and you are ready, my love has grown into a tree. 

And its roots a strong foundation, and its branches sturdy. 

But if it was never meant to be, you can drive a chainsaw through my heart, to make enough firewood, 

To light up a large fire to burn pent up emotions and unsent love letters.